Thursday, January 7, 2016

Dua Puluh Empat

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

24 
bukan menggambarkan berapa jam yang kita punya dalam sehari.
tapi ia adalah usia aku pada 2015.
usia yang aku rasakan paling panjang dalam sejarah hidup aku.
terlalu banyak perkara berlaku.

Merindui Tokwan sepanjang tahun,
Kehidupan seorang Intern bermula dan berakhir setelah 4 bulan, 
Kehilangan permata agama yang amat dirindui..
Bekerja mencari rezeki dan mengenal erti alam pekerjaan
Bergraduasi di penghujung tahun ini..

macam-macam kalau nak disenaraikan.
yang pasti itu semua jatuh bangkit tahun 2015.
yang mengajar aku untuk lebih matang.
yang mendidik aku untuk terus merancang.


aku tidak tahu apa yang bakal aku hadapi 2016 ini..
yang pastinya tahun ni memang lebih panjang dari tahun lepas.
366 hari kan?
ehehh

aku punya azam aku sendiri tahun ini.
aku mahu sihat.
aku mahu jadi hamba, anak, adik, kakak, sahabat yang solehah dunia dan akhirat.
aku mahu berjaya capai cita-cita aku.

tolong doakan ya MRI nanti membawa berita gembira buat aku.
aku terbayang-bayang Doktor kata,
"Faizah, dari MRI awak ni, tulang belakang awak ok, muscle dan nerve awak baik baik saja. awak sudah pulih dari Prolapsed Intervertebral Disc."

serius,
perkataan SEMBUH, PULIH sangat aku harapkan sekarang.
aku mahu buang segala ubat, segala kad appointment,
aku amalkan semua ayat2 penyembuh yang diajar untuk aku,
aku amalkan penjagaan diri, senaman yang pantas untuk aku.
aku hanya mahu jadi sihat. kuat untuk beribadah kepada Allah.

2016,
selamat datang,
kita ada Allah bersama kita!

Sunday, December 20, 2015

A New Journey Begin..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

first of all,
Alhamdulillah, thanks to Allah for every blessings that i have been receiving recently.
Subhanallah banyak tak terkata..


ya.
Alhamdulillah.
Aku telah diterima untuk meneruskan jihad menuntut ilmu di bumi bangi.
and a new journey will take place.
i'm not afraid since i'll have Allah along the way.

aku mula percaya bila kita ditimpa musibah, 
ianya bukan sekadar ujian menguji keimanan 
tetapi juga satu ujian untuk menguji tahap sangkaan kita kepada Allah.

bila kita diberikan ujian,
kita akan merasa lemah, berputus asa dan tidak mahu meneruskan langkah lagi..
tapi kenyataan itu berubah apabila sangkaan kita kepada Allah sentiasa positif..
banyak perkara baik akan berlaku bila kita positif dengan Allah dan segala yang berlaku.

#Senyum

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Dunia

Pernah rasa?

Kau buat semua perkara untuk make sure semua orang puas hati..
Kau jaga hati mereka, tepati janji dengan mereka..
Pokoknya, kau buat yang terbaik untuk mereka.



At one break point, kau rasa, kau perlu masa untuk diri kau sendiri.
cukup sekadar 5 minit sehari pun sudah mencukupi..
Allah tu Maha Adil.
Kau ada masa untuk Dia, ada masa untuk orang lain dan 
Dia juga pesan agar kau jaga masa untuk diri.

Ramai yang tak tahu..
Lalu mereka melontar kata,
"Dunia tak adil. Tuhan tidak adil"
Pendeknya, konklusi itu kau sendiri yang buat.
Hakikat?
Allah Maha Adil..

Aku cipta dunia aku sendiri.
Aku curi\masa buat diri..
Dan dalam dunia aku, hanya ada aku dan Dia.
Tapi aku berharap, satu hari, aku mampu kongsi 'Dunia' ini dengan seseorang.

That someone yang tak akan judge aku,
That particular someone yang terima aku seadanya.
Sebab dalam dunia aku, aku sememangnya lemah.
Sangat lemah.

#KotakHati

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Mimpi

Its 5th December 2015.

Hari Jubah aku.
Konvokesyen yang menandakan tamatnya Ijazah Sarjana Muda aku.
Aku ada seluruh keluarga bersama aku.
Mak, Bapak, Atok, semua adik beradik...
Everyone was there dan tiba-tiba satu sosok tinggi dan tegap muncul di depan aku.

aku kenal sangat tubuh tu.
baju yang dikenakan juga aku amat kenali...
it was his favourite shirt.

jantung aku bagai berhenti berdegup..
aku capai tangannya,
aku salam dan cium tangan tua itu.
lama..
aku menangis semahunya..

aku rindu dia..
rindu yang amat sangat..
its been almost a year..
and suddenly he's here for my big day..
  



tangisan aku bukan hanya kerana rindu..
tapi aku menangis kerana aku tahu itu semua mimpi..
aku bangkit dari tidur, beristighfar dan sedekahkan Al-Fatihah buat dia.

kalau ikut hati, aku mahu terus bermimpi,
tapi aku takut nanti bila bangun aku akan kecewa.
biarlah aku terima realiti,
satu hari aku akan bersama dia kembali..
InsyaAllah di Jannah Abadi..

Tokwan, kakchik rindu tokwan..
and i'm sure u'll be there with me on my convocation day..
just like u always be there for me..
u are always be in my heart, tokwan..


Al-Fatihah buat Tokwan

Thursday, November 5, 2015

What Is Your Ambition?


bear with me.
its going to be a lonnggg post..
and please don't mind my grammar mistakes.. hahaha

I saw a video about "What do you wanna be when you grow up?"
it made me flashing back to my black and white old days...
hahaha i have a bunch of ambitions as i grow up..
it changes according time.
according to the people who i've been surrounded with.

i remember, when i was in my kindergarten years,
i really love reading buku Misteri 3 Penyiasat and Misteri 5 Penyiasat.
its a very popular series among the kids back in the days actually.
thus, i was inspired to become a Detective.
haha funny and no one in my class shared the same ambition as i am..

i had that ambition up until my fourth grade in primary.
then, i get inspired by a teacher of mine..
She's an English teacher.
she's a Chinese, very kind-hearted and she helped me a lot with my English.
she invented my very own 'one day one word' dictionary.
i really love her, i went for english tuition, an intensive english course for two months, i did everything she said, to impress her. haha you know how badly you wanna impress your teacher back in the days..
you would feel proud if your teacher said something good about u to ur mom on parents-teacher day.

since then, i wanna become a teacher.
though that time, teaching isn't a famous profession anymore among the students..
its a noble profession.
i've been surrounded by great teachers along my childhood.
i respected them.
every each one of them.
i remember all of them. (May Allah grant them blessings)

then when i finished my PMR in 2006,
i need to choose which majoring that i wanna take for another 2 years in secondary school.
it was a great big decision, i believe.
soo, since i hated biology so much, i chose Engineering as my major.
it changes my ambition right away..
i love engineering, and i love chemistry.
so i do the math, i wanna be a chemical engineer one day..
haha it was silly..
i realise it was hard to survive as a chemical engineer with my result ( =P )

until one day, when i was 16..
my teacher picked me as one of the student to join the Petronas Career Day.
i got the chance to get a broad exposure about career after study that day..
i heard a lot from a chemical engineer, a petroleum geologist, a petroleum engineer.
when i came back from the event,
i did my research..

guess what?
i decided to become a petroleum geologist at the age of 16.
i studied hard, planned my pathway, get into a matriculation, surveyed universities with geology courses,
and lastly i decided to put GEOSCIENCE in UMK as my first choice in UPU Application.

Alhamdulillah..
I really had a great time through my early years finding myself.
and finally i've become a Geologist though I'm not a Petroleum Geologist, but once a Geologist, always a Geologist.

I am grateful that i've been surrounded by great people,
that encourage me to be who i wanna be.
most of all, I am grateful to have my parents and family behind my back, always.
I LOVE THEM!!
I really do.

ouhh yaa..
don't let anybody let u down.
you can do it.
just make sure your why is clear then your how will be easier.
and don't ever think that those successful people become successful easily.
they have been through a lot.
a lot that you never know.

#smile #DontJudge

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